discussing sexuality with your child

 
  • Answer questions at the time your child asks, don't put them off.
  • Listen carefully to the question to make sure you understand what she/he is asking.
  • Use "teachable" moments to open discussion with a child who does not ask questions e.g., commenting on the pregnancy of a friend or a relative may be a good introduction to the topic of pregnancy and how a baby grows in the uterus. Television programs, newspaper articles or books are other vehicles that can assist in initiating a discussion.
  • Don't try to cover everything at once, but also don't worry if you think you have said "too much". Your child will sift the information, or let it pass - perhaps catching a phrase here or there to ask you about later.
  • Keep the language simple and age appropriate e.g., a three year old may be satisfied with "babies grow in a special place inside the mother's body - called a uterus". A six year old will likely have more questions about how the baby grows, and may want to know how it will come out.
  • Use correct terms. It is confusing to children to have cute names for some body parts and not others.
  • Check out what they already know. Older children in school will inevitably hear comments or words that they don't understand. Show your willingness to discuss these by asking what they can tell you about a particular sexual topic. This encourages communication and also you may correct any misinformation that they have.
  • Let your children know what you think, and what standards of behaviour are all right in your house. It is also important to let them know what is socially appropriate/inappropriate, and what to do if they have difficulties or questions. As children mature it is also important to help them understand that other people's standards may be different from theirs.
  • Don't be afraid to say 'I don't know' or to let your child know that you're embarrassed. You can say "I feel a little uncomfortable, but this is important to talk about - let's find out some answers together."